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OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect already.
You would never know I had a college degree if you saw how many times I tried to push when it says pull.
Every time a clerk asks "Did you find everything you need?" I always answer "No, I couldn`t find a hug"
Most people don`t think I`m as old as I am until they hear me stand up.
Sad Fact- Boobie traps seldom involve boobies.
To the untrained eye, I`m quite handsome.
I wonder if Batman knows that other cities have crime, too.
I get my cardio from caffeine...
Is it just me that finds it disturbing that you can accidentally make a baby but you can`t accidentally make a pizza?
The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking!
Imagine if someone`s name was Gurt. You`d be all "yo gurt!" .. funny? no? Ok (._.)
You`re the type of person who didn`t rewind the Blockbuster VHS...
A shake for breakfast. A shake for lunch. A sensible dinner. SEVENTY FIVE COOKIES AT 12:34AM
If anxiety was good for weight loss, I`d be back to my birth weight.
.Monday: No. Tuesday: Ugh. Wednesday: Why. Thursday: Omg. Friday: Finally. Saturday: Yes. Sunday: Crying.