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Late to bed and early to rise, makes me really tired and pissed off.
They say swearing is due to limited vocabulary. I know thousands of words, but I still prefer`f*ck off` to `go away`.
Got kicked out of the hospital. Apparently the “head nurse” is just the one in charge of the other nurses.
I poured some shampoo over my speakers today and they blew up... So much for EXTRA VOLUME.
The future is much like the present, only longer.
It takes one slow walking person in the grocery store, to remove the illusion that I`m a nice person.
My therapist says I have imposter syndrome. But come on, I`m not good enough to have something fancy like that.
I act like Pacman at parties. I walk around the room eating everything in site and avoiding everyone.
"Paypal me your lunch money!" -Cyber Bullies
Yoga is a great way to meet and embarrass yourself in front of women
A dirty mind is f*cking beautiful!
It must be very hard to be a Nigerian lawyer who specializes in international inheritance law.
Do watch out for elderly neighbours in the heat wave. They`re liable to trap you for hours and talk about the weather.
I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them and why aren`t we helping to find them?
Attention...my facebook page has been hacked. But everyone seems to like the new guy better, me too actually...so f**k it!