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Sometimes knowing exactly where you are does not make you any less lost.
Coffee has given me unrealistic expectations of productivity.
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth
The easiest way to keep a secret is without help
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We`ll see about that.
It`s just a matter of time before they add the word "Syndrome" after my last name.
I overheard 2 girls say there was a creepy dude listening to their conversation.
“Too much milk left need more cereal” always leads to “too much cereal need more milk”
thinks we should all jump out of our chairs and do the 5 second happy dance! READY! GO!
The last time I was someone`s type, I was donating blood.
I miss the good old days..when you could slam the phone down.!!
You don`t know pissed off until she tells you to go sleep on the couch, and you take all the covers with you.
To all the girls who think all guys are the same: Who told you to try them all? Whore.
I once met a guy who was addicted to huffing brake fluid. He said he could stop any time.
When I am working, I get paid to be nice. I don`t understand why my friends and family expect me to do it for free during my time off.