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I shook the vending machine until my chips fell, so yeah, I’m a hunter-gatherer.
I feel ready to face the world as a responsible adult now that I`ve taken today`s gummy vitamins.
I’m at Code 5 today. I don’t know. It’s something this lady in the coffee shop said and I liked it. So now I’m using it, too.
There`s a fine line between flirty and creepy. And that line is called being good looking.
That moment when you’re talking to yourself and you smile like an idiot, because you’re just so hilarious.
Summer: Hair gets lighter. Skin gets darker. Water gets warmer. Drinks get colder. Music gets louder. Nights get longer. Life gets better.
I really thought 2015 had potential to be “my year” but we’re 2 months in and that ship has sailed so I’ll try again for 2016.
My favorite form of lying to myself is choosing a deodorant scent that contains the words `active` or `sport` in it`s name
Just read a book on quantum evolution. The idea is that quantum mechanics are involved in the process of evolution. I still say go to WalMart and then try to sell me on evolution....
People are way less judgmental when you say you had an "avocado salad" instead of saying you ate a bowl of guacamole.
Liquid sanity: I call it alcohol..!!
It`s all fun and games...unless there`s cookies, then it`s serious
Don’t start an argument with a girl because they have 45030194 GB memories and will bring up something you did at 2:27PM on April 23rd 2008.
I knew she was about to say something intelligent because she began with, "You once told me..."
Every Girls Night Out has at least one crier.