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Damn your Hott!...........................Freaking Sun! lmao =P
After watching copious amounts of crime dramas I`ve come to the conclusion that serial killers only target women who wear matching bra and pantie sets. Feeling much safer now.
Never say "piece of cake!" to me. Unless there is, indeed, a piece of cake involved.
They have all those non-smoking laws in public places so let’s now all focus on passing some perfume/cologne usage limits.
Next time a stranger talks to me when I`m alone I will look at them shocked and just quietly whisper.... "You can see me?"
This earthquake was the first time that I`ve ever said, "it was 4.7, but felt bigger."
Instead of presidential debates, we should just have a dance-off.
No magician can do a trick that impresses me as much as that ‘take off my bra and make it appear out of my sleeve’ thing that girls do.
That mind-blowing moment when you realize chores were really the crap your parents didn’t want to do.
If only mosquitoes sucked fat, instead of blood.
If your cat has a Facebook page, we can`t be friends.
Is it weird that I`m 43 years old and have a secret handshake with 3 adults.....and my dog?
All I want for Christmas is for these calories to not count.
I prefer a slowie not a quickie.
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn`t met me yet