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If I won the lottery, I could make a whole lotta people miserable
It´s Friday-O-Clock!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Its funny how your friends change , Meet new people and forget about you . :( But just know i`ll still be in your heart?
Men are trained from birth that happiness comes from either boobs or a bottle.
Well...today is the day. Just gotta build up the nerve to tell my dog she is adopted.
times new roman walks into a bar. "sorry, we don`t serve your type."
Any amusement you may have experienced from my past posts are in no way a guarantee of future performance.... Please initial here and sign here.
After 3 "it`s complicated" statuses, Facebook should just default to "Unstable"
The boss said I should let my creative juices flow. What he doesn’t know is that my creative juices are vodka and cranberry.
The fact that Google autocompletes all of my questions just reaffirms how unoriginal all my problems are.
Take time to reflect upon your day. Think of all the blessings you received, and everything you may be called to testify about :)))
If you needed to wear camouflage in a gingerbread house, would you wear ginger snaps?
Honk if you wanna see the finger
Is it too early to start drinking? - some moron with a clock.
There’s no excuse for laziness.. but if you find one, let me know.