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Eggnog is perfect for when you feel like drinking a glass of pancake batter.
some people just need a high-five......in the face......with a chair!
Stumbled into bed late last night. "You`re drunk," she said. "Also, you live next door."
When cleaning my house: 1% Cleaning 30% Complaining 69% Playing with stuffs that I just found.
I forgot to pay my bill to the exorcist and so I got re-possesed.
Auctioneers are proof white guys could rap if they tried hard enough.
Some people say a true friend stabs you in the front. Iām gonna go ahead and say a true friend just puts the knife down.
The people naming dinosaurs should teach the people naming hurricanes how to name stuff.
I tried my best to see things from your point a view, but your point of view is stupid.
Yes I admit I am a freak. Now, grab some whip cream, some feathers, handcuffs, blindfold, a whip and follow me into the kitchen.
Bars are Weird Its the only Business that kicks you out for buying TOO much of their Product
I was raised on the streets is more manly than saying I grew up watching Sesame Street.
According to my current parking spot, I`m Chief of Police.
I find myself highly addicted to books as of late. Once I start coloring the first few pages I can`t stop....
I wonder if New York people find it weird to watch their own city being destroyed in Hollywood movies so many times..!!