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No I don`t think you`re stupid, I just think you have real bad luck when it comes to thinking
We laughed, we cried, we tried another credit card.
Radio Shack has stayed in business with a name combining something no one buys anymore and a type of building no one wants to go into.
Dad, I love how we don`t even have to say out loud that I`m your favorite. Happy Fathers Day!
Is it wrong, to put people on your bucket list?
Aren`t they Middle-Age Mutant Ninja Turtles now?
I went to McDonalds, put 5 dollars on the counter and said "Surprise me". Because I never get what I ask for anyway!
I ruined my health by drinking to everyone else’s.
To the guy who invented Zero: Thanks for nothing!
Co-worker: My wife`s an angel. Me: You`re lucky, mine`s still alive.
If tomatoes are classed as a fruit, then doesnt that mean that ketchup is technically a smoothie? ... hmmm
I haven`t gotten laid in so long, you`d swear I`ve been wearing Crocs all this time.
Who called them fake potatoes and not imitaters.
How many days in a row do you have to wear the same clothes until you’re legally a cartoon?
There’s no such thing as being ready for vacation to be over.