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They sell Harvard shirts at Target so that’s a good way to save $ 399,984.05.
Girls don`t dress for guys, they dress for themselves. If they dressed for guys they would be naked all the time
I think salads help you lose weight because they`re gross and you end up not eating them
It`s going to be so disappointing if we ever ask aliens about crop circles and they`re just like, "We really hate corn."
I have a bad habit of laughing at inappropriate moments.
You can tell a lot from a woman by her hands. For instance, if they`re placed around your throat she`s probably slightly upset.
Why can`t the ice cream man just get a freakin liquor license already
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That’s almost $21.00 in dog money.
Debate?.....isn`t that what you use to catch "The Fish" ?
I really want to take photos of my friends with their face smushed against glass.. Then make that pic my phone contact for them.. Then when they call, it will look like they`re trapped inside my phone! Oh god my life is pitiful, kill me..
Can anybody PLEASE tell me where you buy Common Sense?? I know several people that need some!!!
My hobbies include but are not limited to getting drunk and commenting "LOL" on relationship statuses on Facebook.
One dog was admiring another dog`s leash, and said, "I admire your restraint."
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A great friend will be handcuffed next to you saying that was fun
i made a chicken salad the other day. little bastard didn`t even eat it.