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I went to McDonald`s to grab my boys a couple of Happy meals. The guy serving me says "Would you like a Boy Toy"? I was like, "listen hear you little sh!t, you couldn`t handle me if you tried"!! What is this world coming too... :))
The best things in life are free, but they still screw you on shipping.
If you live by the sword, I guess that is pretty cool. I live by some trees and shit.
Hello customer service, I ate two happy meals and I’m still not happy
I would eat a lot more healthy food if it required no preparation or stayed fresh as long as junk food.
How many HA’s equal a LOL? How about a LMAO? Is there a conversion chart somewhere?
Life before the computer: Memory was something that you lost with age. An application was for employment. A program was a TV show. A cursor used profanity. A keyboard was a piano. A web was a spider’s home. A virus was the flu. A CD was a bank account. A hard drive was a long trip on the road. A mouse pad was where a mouse lived. And if you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy…you just hoped nobody found out.
Coffee is just a hug for your insides.
I don’t use Siri because I have to deal with enough women who have no personality and know everything.
All I’m saying is you don’t see many neck tattoos on Jeopardy.
Next time I go to Hooters I`m ordering milk.
What is it about being blind that makes people want to walk their dog all the time?
I`m thinking about remodeling my bathroom and thanks to all your selfies I`m getting some great ideas!!.....
There are many different ways one can save energy. I normally use the couch.
Jingle bells johnny smells, amelia ruled the show, frankies okay, marcus is gay, little mix all the way.. HAY !!!