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I`ve actually have come to the conclusion that some of today`s youth may actually believe "laughing out loud" is actually spelled "lol"
I never care whether or not my glass is half full or half empty... cause I drink straight from the bottle!
Sometimes to much to drink is never enough
Never compliment a woman on her sideburns ... no matter how magnificent they look.
So apparently RSVP`ing back to a wedding invite `maybe next time` isn`t the correct response
I love secretly placing a deck of cards on top of someones ceiling fan.
So far, I`ve had exactly "call my ex" number of beers tonight!!!
The mechanic asked if I wanted my tires rotated and I was like, "No thanks, I`m pretty sure they do that all by themselves while I`m driving"
Apparently 50% of people prefer pizza to sex. What is wrong with people? Have they never had pizza?
Sometimes I can`t figure out if I`m in pre-school... high school.. oh wait, I`m at work.
OMG!!!!! I almost went to the toilet without my phone!
roses are red, violets are blue, god made everyone beautiful, what the hell happened to you?
Thank God I finally found love! Its on Page 126 in the dictionary.
Thanksgiving: "Let`s give thanks for the stuff we have." Black Friday: "Ok, let`s get all new stuff."
Facebook is the reason why my work is not done.