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Do you think in the spirit world they have TV shows about trying to make contact with the living?
Some people are training as complainers like it is a competitive sport
’twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, everyone was screaming ... cuz I went into the wrong house.
Girls who don`t get naked when you`re drunk.. Explain yourselves.
I don`t know why people say life is short....this seems to be taking forever.
The sound of children laughing makes me happy. Unless I`m home alone and my power goes out.
Some people never go crazy...... What truly horrible lives they must live
Life is so hard when you have twenty TV shows to watch.
Think about how much more stressful life`s most stressful moments would be if accompanied by the running-out-of-time music in Mario Bros.
You can lead a horse to water but I`d rather ride it to the liquor store.
Being a Zombie doesn`t sound that bad. You don`t have a job and your entire day is spent looking for things to eat. Shit, I do that now.
What sucks about those little hotel shampoo bottles is there`s no room for the directions so you kind of have to wing it.
Yesterday my Supervisor asked why I was tardy and I said, "I don`t think you`re supposed call people that any more."
I am absolutely a man of my word. Unfortunately, it just so happens that the word is "Unreliable".
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.