Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you make something easier for yourself they call you lazy. If you make something easier for everyone else they call you a genius.
Happiness is the journey, not the destination, and when you reach your destination, ie; bottom of a beer, you must embark on a new journey, ie; get another beer........
Women say they love a man in uniform but when i go clubbing in my McDonalds uniform none of them will talk to me....I`m confused
Hit me with your pet shark #RuinAn80sSong
Secret Admirers are just stalkers with good PR.
I`m drinking like there`s snow tomorrow.
I`ve written my own book called 50 Shades of Gravy. It`s very saucy. :D
I don’t mind going to work. It’s that eight-hour wait to go home that bugs me.
I hate when I oversleep at work and get home late.
Sometimes one middle finger isn`t enough to let someone know how you feel. That`s why we have two hands.
I bet if there were little basketball hoops above every garbage can, littering would greatly decrease.
Ahh..Monday, so we meet again ... You dirty bitch!!
"It`s not about who`s right or wrong."~ The person that is wrong
I`m fresh out of hopes and dreams. Can I interest any of you in despair and disappointment?
Dear Santa, before I try to explain…..just how much do you already know?