Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
In marijuana`s defense, I`m lazy as sh!t completely sober too.
Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will only be jingling "part" of the way this year, as usual ur patience is appreciated.
I`ve been knocking for ten minutes. Don`t people answer their bathroom windows anymore?
Music is best when it’s louder than I can think.
Now what`s funny is "Si" from Duck Dynasty
I swear, watching people at a 4-way stop sign is like watching `Night at the Roxbury.` "Him? Me? Oh Me? Me or Him?"
Imagine, for a moment, what you could accomplish if you had the persistence and drive of the Adobe Acrobat Reader updater.
My "Do Not Disturb" facial expression is not working today.
What is the difference between a Snow-man & a Snow-lady? Snowballs!
I mean really though...Why wash cups when you can just drink out of the jug?
Sorry, but breaking up with you on facebook was the best way of letting all your friends know I`m available.
Once you have to start paying a babysitter every time you go out, you realize most friendships aren`t worth it.
Every day is just a new opportunity to eat pizza.
I think some people just log into Facebook just to send me game requests.
I automatically assume you`re fat if your Facebook picture is a car