Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
To be truthful from deep down ... I don`t believe that paper beats rock.
So, I guess we’re just supposed to assume the number is 1-800-Ghostbusters?
I missed that one episode of The Walking Dead where they show us how the zombies keep everyone`s lawns so freshly mowed.
I quit my job and handed in my badge and gun to my boss, he said, why do you have a gun? You work at McDonald’s.
about love
if ever you need NOTHING, im here for you.
Knock knock Who`s there? Control Freak. Now you say "Control Freak who?"
Is anyone else`s alcohol tolerance too high for their paycheck?
Guys, if she says she`s crazy, she`s harmless. The real crazy ones never give you a damn clue.
I`m at my most badass when I`m popping a wheelie with a shopping cart.
And Jesus said, those footprints on the beach where two sets become one, that`s where I unfollowed you.
Thank God I still have a few days left to achieve my goal of “going to the gym in 2014.”
I didn’t sell my soul to the devil….we worked out a rent-to-own deal.
Cactuses are just heavily armed cucumbers.
Oh, honey, you have gone beyond muffin top. That`s a busted can of biscuits!