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I thought we had something. You met my family, made us dinner, called me honey. Now suddenly you’re a “waitress” who was “doing her job?”
You guys make Facebook worth it! Just kidding, we are all wasting our lives.
I`ve just borrowed a book on surgery from my local library. Apparently someone`s taken the appendix out.
Everyone wants you to "be honest" until you tell them how much they suck.
My brain is giving me the silent treatment
Exercise would be so much more rewarding if calories screamed while you burn them.
A 6-month wait when filing for divorce, but only a 15-day wait when buying a gun. I think the solution for relationship problems is clear.
WARNING: Objects in profile pics are not as pretty as they appear.
Are you guys sure common sense can`t be beaten into people ? Because I`d like to give it try!
I`m gonna surprise my hand with some sex tonight!
I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make 1 wool sweater. I didn`t even know they knew how to knit.
Stop, drop, and roll isn`t just an effective fire safety tip, but it is also an interesting way to get out of a boring conversation.
Whenever somebody said they did something "Like a Boss" I assume that they did nothing but took all the credit for it.
See, I would run, but it`s usually bodies of joggers that are found dead in the woods.
I was wondering why some couples don`t go to the gym together but I guess some relationships just don`t work out...