Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I try to avoid picking up turtles on the side of the road. Just in case they are in the middle of a race.
Imagine how frustrating it would be if Tic-Tacs were individually wrapped
I clean my house like everyone else ... 5 minutes before someone comes over.
Bigger isn`t always better. Thighs, for example.
Having a favorite homeless person is weird, right?
Poetry would be a lot harder if violets were orange.
"Friendzoned" should be a relationship status on Facebook.
My husband woke up this morning with a HUGE smile on his face. I love Sharpie markers.
Life..it`s just an `F` in lie....
I guess “Trying to be” isn’t really the answer the doctor was looking for when he asked if I was sexually active.
All shoes are technically buy one get one free.
The worst thing about finding out Santa isn`t real is that you realise it was your parents who were to blame for all the terrible presents
Kids, because why would you want to sleep on more than 6 inches of your king size bed?
I have the means to do anything that I want on my day off from work which means that I dont want to do anything on my day off from work.
I can keep a secret… It’s all the other people I tell it to who can’t.