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There`s nothing better than a nap after a good nights sleep.
How do you play religious roulette? You stand around in a circle with your friends and blaspheme, and see who gets struck by lightning first.
Don`t ask me how my night was coz I don`t know. I was asleep.
I told the monster in my closet that coming out of there would make him gay. Ha!!,,That solves that problem.
I just want to buy an old Mercedes Benz,so people will think I have been rich for a long time.
Revenge is not in my plans. You`ll f*ck yourself on your own.
There is no such thing as failure. There are only results.
Life is Hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid.
You know your a$s is ugly when you`re the one always asked to take the photo.
Been there, done that. Hypothetically
Never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes...
Chinese scientists have discovered the rare rock n roll panda it will only eat A wop bop a loo lop a wop Bamboo
If people winked in real life as much as they do in texts, the world would be a really creepy place.
I think I really have an amazing butt, every time I talk to someone and start walking off they say,"what an a$$.."
You never know what you have until you clean your room.