Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Still not 100% clear on whether French Montana is a person or a steakhouse special.
I love hearing rumors about me...that`s how I find out what I`ve been doing.
if its got tits you will get nothing but trouble !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you think your wife is crazy now. Wait untill you divorce her.
Apparently a new study shows that unattractive men make better mates. Nice try, ugly scientists.
am updating my status just to let you know my status has no status
This silly farmers market doesn`t have any locally grown pizza.
My fridge is so full of beer ... I`m going to have to drink my way back to the food or starve.
BESTFRIEND: the one you can get mad at only for a short period because you have important stuff to tell them.
Maybe my mom was right all those years ago. Maybe I won`t be happy until someone loses an eye. Maybe that`s what`s been missing.
I wasn`t born with enough middle fingers to show you how I really feel about you!
My mind is like "LETS DO THIS SH!T" but my body is like "calm down motherf*cker"
Fun Things to do : Commenting “not your best” on everybody’s selfies.
Living with a child is like using a blender with no lid...
The best way to hang up on someone is to do it in the middle of your own sentence, that way they will just think you lost service.