Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I could really go for a beer and a million dollars.
Most people decide to have scramble eggs immediately after thinking: "I`ll just flip this omelette"
I wasn`t planning on giving Christmas gifts this year until I heard about those exploding Samsung G7 Note phones.
Whenever I read: "Do not exceed recommended dose" I always think, "Challenge accepted!"
The way you feel when your phone dies is exactly how Cinderella must have felt at midnight
You know you had a good night when you have to Google map yourself in the morning to find out where the hell you are.
Do gun manuals haue a trouble shooting section?
I got caught peeing in the swimming pool today... The lifeguard shouted so loud I almost fell in.
I hope when the machines take over the world they start by fixing my cable.
Do you ever start writing a status and half way through you’re just like… nah
Nothing says lazy like laying on the couch making today`s responsibilities tomorrow`s problem.
I read a sad statistic that something like 2% of all sushi goes un-Instagrammed.
I almost forgot to upload a pic of my Starbucks coffee. What a waste of coffee that would have been!
We`ve spent years planning and preparing for the zombie apocalypse all for nothing......clowns....its gonna be clowns that finish us off.
Showed the kids here how to eat corn-on-the-cob typewriter style........ Now explaining typewriter.