Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
First fart at my new job.
I feel like I could give a great NBA locker room speech. "Guys, we`re all millionaires, none of this matters."
Opposites attract, that’s the trouble with being awesome.
My new bumper sticker ... "Watch out for the idiot behind me!"
It`s finally here! .. That time of year when my seasonal depression turns into just regular depression.
My fridge is just hospice for vegetables.
Sometimes I STOP when it`s not even Hammer time
Rick Ross be rapping about cars he can`t even fit in.
You make me feel "I`m-typing-this-with-my-middle-finger" angry.
I just ate a Cheeto that melted perfectly in my mouth! It was Awesome! ....Until I realised that was the highlight of my day.
"Don`t cry because its over, smile because his new girlfriend looks like a horse."
Dating tip: Men always remember the woman who vomited on them.
I can`t wait to miss the upcoming season of American Idol.
I once met a guy who was addicted to huffing brake fluid. He said he could stop any time.
Trying to understand some people is like trying to pick up a turd by the clean end.