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I`ve done a lot of things over the years ... But acting normal has never been one of them.
Who´s up for Candyland? $20 buy in
Today I gave up procrastination for Lent.
I haven`t slept for three days, because that would be too long
The path to inner peace begins with 3 simple words....Not my problem.
Save your breath ... You`ll need it later to blow up your date.
I had to go on two diets because one wasn`t giving me enough food.
If I share something clever and witty on Facebook, don’t try and out clever me with your comment. I don’t come over and blow out your candles on your cake.
Today is national I don`t feel like doing sh!t today. Celebrate accordingly.
Some people want a perfect relationship. I just want a cheeseburger that looks like the ones in commercials.
I`ve never watched CSI because I learned everything I need to know about solving crimes from watching Scooby Doo
Just looked at the price of baby strollers. I think were gonna have an indoor baby.
Posting a status update before responding to someone`s text is the easiest way to let them know how unimportant they are.
When 12 year old girls call each other honey and sweet heart...
I´m thankful for Facebook. Before, I would just scream out my thoughts to anyone who would listen.