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I got called pretty today! Well actually the full statement was "you`re pretty annoying!" But I only focus on positive things
Never trust anyone who says “Im not supposed to tell anyone but”
If you stop at a yellow light I`m going to assume you have something illegal in your car.
I never sign anything until I pretend to read it first..
Commence six months of the clock in my car being wrong.
Facebook needs a "settle down" button.. You tap on a friend`s profile, that locks them out for a day so they can work through stuff privately..
Making mirrors look good, since 1972
Lately, my furnace has run so much I nicknamed it "Forest".
Who am I calling stupid?? Good question.... What`s your name?!
I like confusing kids by telling them I`m older than the internet
You`re always ahead of schedule when it comes to disappointing me.
You win some, you lose some...unless you`re me, then you win them all.
I hear they designed the newest iPhone to fit perfectly in your hand, right where your money used to be.
I play hard to get along with.
You`re the reason why I wake up every morning... Just kidding, I have to go to work.