Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The statement ‘Hey! Calm down!’ has a zero to no success rate of getting someone to calm down.
I never thought I`d be one of those people that hit the gym early in the morning ... I was right!
I have one question about Insanity, "Are we there yet"?
Meanwhile on Facebook, someone has made a casserole...
My doctor said I`m healthy enough for sexual activity ... I`m just not attractive enough.
To the untrained eye, I`m quite handsome.
If my calculations are correct, I can retire about 5 years after I die.
I think I have 10 inches of Global Warming on my driveway.
Just so you know, when you repeat what you just said I won`t be listening then either.
This woman just stared at the beer in my cup holder, like she`s never seen a cup holder on a grocery cart before.
take a left on crazy, keep going until you hit insane. Follow that down to lunatic, turn right on insomnia, way past retarded and there you are @ my place!
Do Me: a favor. - Punctuation is important.
I put the “Pro” in Procrastinate.
my girlfriend asked me to go to the store and pick her up 50 shades of grey, she was pretty mad when i brought home 50 tubes of lipstick.
From what I can piece together, this Pitbull character enjoys "partying"