Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

India launched a rocket to Mars yesterdayโ€ฆ Thatโ€™s a heck of a place to put a call center.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, youโ€™re probably really hot.
I`m not the type of person you want to put on speakerphone.
When youโ€™re old, my kids will be in charge. Iโ€™m so, so sorry.
I`m glad I`m me, I don`t think anybody else could take it.
Sometimes I run toward people & expect them to know that I want them to do the Dirty Dancing lift but they never know and I slam into them.
Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday, and it said that I needed an upgrade.
As funny as it might be, It`s never polite to yell "Tuba Lesson!" Before farting.
I should be asleep, but there are a lot of things I should be.
Is it yoga if you wear sweatpants all day and then hunch over the garbage can as you eat a burrito?
I need chapstick on my lips ... anyone want to share ?
Nothing says โ€œfriend zoneโ€ quite like a woman saying โ€œyouโ€™re like a brother to me.โ€ Unless youโ€™re from Alabama.
Donโ€™t cry because itโ€™s over. Smile because your fingerprints arenโ€™t in the database.
You guys make me wanna be a better alcoholic!
My own personal hell sounds great, actually