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I wonder if angry people know about naps?
I wish I lived in a glass house, those people seem to have a lot of fun...
I`m sorry I hurt your feelings. When I called you stupid, I really thought you already knew.
Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they`re looking for ideas.
Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
Why would you be scared to get Ebola? You haven`t left your couch since 2011.
I’m not the friend you put on speaker phone.
Even this posting will offend some people, hopefully.
The worst thing that can happen when you invite someone over to "watch a movie" is actually watching a movie.
Do you realize that Scrooge was essentially water-boarded into changing his outlook on Christmas?
A good way to mess with a jogger is to run up alongside him and say, “It’s okay, I think we lost him.”
How did anybody express anger before the invention of the caps lock key?
My brain has too many tabs open.
Look up procrastinator on Wikipedia. There’s a picture of me. Well there isn’t yet, but there will be. Probably by tomorrow. Maybe Tuesday.
The exam hall is the only place on the earth where everyone is desperate for teamwork..