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Nothing makes me want to leave a website more than a pop-up window saying, “Are you sure you want to leave this page?”
I just can`t seem to get a girlfriend even though I can speak two languages fluently. English and Klingon.
I was halfway to the state line before I realized the sirens were part of the song that was playing
I might be a day late and a dollar short, but it is still my personal best.
Blessed are they who can just read it and move on.
Synonym: Word used in place of the one you can`t spell.
Cool things about being a turtle: 1. Born with a free house attached to you 2. Super chill 3. Could potentially mutate into a ninja
You`ve been on more hotel pillows then chocolate mints.
I don’t know what my neighbor’s name is and we’ve been neighbors too long for me to ask.
The longest five seconds in anyone’s life is waiting to press the “Skip Ad” button on YouTube.
Peppermint Schnapps, the mouthwash you can swallow
hey single people..tomorrow is officially `rebound day` after all the ridiculously high romantic expectations end in `epic fail`
I have some jokes about unemployment but they need some work.
The race to get Dad a Christmas present usually ends in a tie.
That moment of shame when an automatic door doesn`t open for you