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I can`t tell them apart, was that Milli or Vanilli doing the sign language at Madela`s funeral?
Growing up and becoming an adult was the worst decision I’ve ever made.
Survival rule #1: You go first.
To the woman that won the powerball ... "what`s up baby"
why hello there stalker! Enjoying my profile?(=
"Just so you know, you`re coming home with me tonight." I whisper to all the leftover food on the table from our dinner date.
I thought she asked if I was interested in an orgy. Turns out she really said "4G." My apologies to the lady at the Verizon kiosk.
I`m pretty sure God just pointed at me and laughed.
Please no one tell me what happens on the NFL today; I`m still on Season 8.
“People will believe anything if you whisper it.”
I would rather cuddle then have sex. If you`re good with grammar you`ll get it.
Homes are 750 square feet larger today than they were 30 years ago. Unfortunately, so are most Americans.
I bet the YMCA dance is alot harder to do in Chinese.
I put the “Pro” in Procrastinate.
When you are not happy and would like to go back to being young, think of Algebra!