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Hot Pockets: For when you want every bite to be a different temperature.
If I could be anyone else in the whole world, I would still be me so that I wouldn`t have to buy new clothes.
I`m so sick and tired of my friends who can`t handle their alcohol. The other night they dropped me 3 times while carrying me to the car.
Advantage #46 of being single. I have entire closets that are completely empty.
I hate it when I put on my apple bottom jeans and cannot find my boots with da fur!!
A new study has found that women find it seven times easier to read men’s facial expressions than men have reading women’s. That’s mostly because we’re not looking at their faces ...
Tyler on Facebook says he ran 1.7 miles this morning… So based on calculations, I have 35 minutes to ransack his house tomorrow morning.
One day on Mercury lasts about 1,400 hours. Roughly the same as one Monday on earth feels.
There`s no use worrying about things you can`t control. Except for bodily functions...Hopefully you can control THEM. :/
Where have you been all my life? ... Please go back there.
Apparently, I just ate 39 servings of Tic - Tacs.
If you want people to know where you stand, wear the same socks for a week
I can`t believe that it`s the year 2012, and I still have to bend down to pick stuff up.
Stop picking on Justin Bieber. That`s somebody`s daughter.
Found a note on my door today that said ”You’re Awesome!” ... Yes, I wrote it yesturday. But still, the truth is the truth.