Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Breaking News: Tuesdays suck just as much as Mondays.
I can`t wait to meet that special someone who will eventually ignore me.
Ironically, Internet was made to save our time.
Don’t underestimate my ability to be hungry.
Didn`t sleep much but I got a few solid hours of worrying done.
"Why yes, I`d love to be a thousand pounds." – my brain when I see a box of donuts
My friend says to me, "What rhymes with orange?" I said, "No it doesn`t."
Someone asked me today if ive ever been with two women at the same time. But why would I want to disappoint two women at the same time?
would a fly without wings be called a walk?
You know it`s a really good bar when there`s a couple outside breaking up.
Telling me to calm down is the easiest way to get me to tell you to go f*ck yourself.
This strip mall certainly is misleading And I probably should put my clothes back on now.
At any given time my wallet is worth more than its contents.
Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is go to bed.
The iPad: Because the iPhone was too small for other people to notice you.