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I`m sure the fellow below don`t have big feet :(
If the interviewer asks where you see yourself in 5 years. Standing naked on top of a fire truck does not appear to be the correct answer
Just once I`d like to yell, "Don`t you know who I am?!" because I`m important, not because I`m drunk and actually forgot.
I wish I had a friend like me
Porn is so unrealistic. There`s no way a guy with a ponytail could have a house that nice.
Sorry, kids. It appears ninjas ate all of our Halloween candy.
If cartoons are a reliable guide, the secret to never aging is wearing the same clothes every day.
When in doubt, take a nap.
Facebook should win an Emmy for Best Daytime Dramas.
Dear Mother Nature, I would like to cancel my monthly subscription please… Urs Sincerely, 100% OF ALL WOMEN IN THE WORLD!
Instead of presidential debates, we should just have a dance-off.
Sex is like pizza, if you`re going to use bbq sauce you better know what the f*ck you`re doing
If a mass murderer on death row ordered a Klondike Bar for his last meal I bet it would explain a lot.
If there`s no gravity underwater, why do mermaids need those seashell bra`s?
iTunes got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.