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What is it about paper towels that makes me always want to use more than one?
Legally,It´s questionable. Morally,It´s disgusting. Personally,I like it.
FACT: If you want to keep a secret from me, put it inside a Facebook event invitation.
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
You want to piss off a woman? Hide one shoe.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Sorry I liked your status, I was cleaning my phone.
Someone once said, “Find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” So, I’m pleased to announce the grand opening of my titty squeezing business!!
Some people just need to be clothes lined
Hi everyone! Welcome to AA. This is a "judgment free" zone...unless we`re talking about Janice who ate all the cookies last week.
I`m pretty sure there`s a chip in my car that turns all traffic lights RED...
Did anyone else go into a furious, violent rage when they found out that George Lucas filmed most of Star Wars here on Earth?
I don`t have any skeletons in my closet because I bury my victims in the backyard!
If tomatoes are classed as a fruit, then doesnt that mean that ketchup is technically a smoothie? ... hmmm
I come from a long line of successful people. I have successfully stopped that tradition.