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I usually don`t argue with the doctor but I don`t think "Batshit Crazy" is a legitimate medical term.
If I pay $30 for a haunted house I better die.
Has anyone EVER checked to see how the room or wall behind them looks before taking and posting 50 selfies?!
Right before I die, my last words will be, "I left a million dollars in the........
My mom wanted to talk to me about my maturity today, but she didn`t know the password to my secret fort.
Law and Order is just Blue`s Clues for adults.
To honor Thanksgiving this month I will be calling every one Pilgrim instead of Dude or Bro-- Fair warning
Today my role will be played by an overworked, under caffeinated, sarcastic, unstable, asshole. Consider this my disclaimer for the day.
Today I saw a sign for a suicide helpline on the back of a bus. Wouldn`t it be a lot more helpful if it was on the front?
just bought 400 copies of Hoarders: Season 1. Not sure what to do with them.
LIFE always offers you a second chance,its called TOMORROW
Whenever I fill out a job application with a box for "Race," I add a question mark and then write, "Anytime. Anywhere."
I`m going to hire two private detectives to follow each other .
is wondering if the hokey pokey is really what it´s all about
My 5 year plan is to watch Netflix. All of it.