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I don`t wanna make this weird but that`s just kinda how I do things.
People, like prescription drugs, should have to list the side effects they`re likely to cause.
My first mistake was thinking she couldn`t hit a moving target.
Just checked my Farmville for the first time in 2 years... It`s now a Walmart.
Love means never being able to like another girl’s selfie on Instagram ever again.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she`s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
Instead of “single” as a relationship option, it should read “independently owned and operated”
I sooo did not want to go on a run today but those cops came out of nowhere.
If rolling your eyes burned calories, Facebook would be my gym.
If being lazy paid, damn dude I must be a billionaire.
I find if you sprinkle some bacon bits on a salad, but don’t actually add any salad, then its a pretty good salad.
Yea, there is no "I" in team... but there sure is "ME".
Nothing is impossible.. Never Give Up.. I know a guy that once actually guessed correctly why his girlfriend was mad at him.. :|
I only drink coffee because cocaine is too expensive.
Are you always this stupid or is today a special occasion?