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I suspect the ancient Greeks would be horrified that we refer to `laying on a couch all weekend watching a TV series` as a "marathon"
We`ve all been talking about your paranoia.
Some of us learn from the mistakes of others; the rest of us have to be the others.
Ever had one of those days that you feel like you should have skipped the coffee and went straight for the booze?
If your dog loves hanging his head out the window of the car as you are driving, but growls when you blow in his face, you may need a breath mint.
WTF, I feel like I pay these bills every month.
I`m tired of doing math. I guess I`ll get my lazy as up and fix my clocks today
Watch out! It’s quite possible some of my best mistakes haven’t been made yet.
A lot of times I wonder if people think my girlfriend is only with me for my money.....but I am always reassured by the fact that I don`t have any money..........or a girlfriend....
I was the kid my parents warned me about.
If I haven’t embarrassed myself in front of you… don’t worry, it’ll happen.
This year’s box-office revenue is down 20 percent from last summer. I’m not sure why that is, but I`ll bet you there’s a documentary on Netflix about it.
Who is the genius that decided Little League uniforms be white? My guess is Tide laundry detergent.
What am I doing with the rest of my life? I don`t even know what I`m doing with the rest of this post...
Apparently telling the airline stewardess that airplane food is "da bomb dat hijacked my tastebuds" is not considered a compliment......