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Do trolls even live under bridges anymore? Or have they all relocated to the Internet?
If no one comes from the future to stop you from doing it than how bad of a decision can it really be?
"Please don`t put a million dumb photos of me on your Facebook... it just annoys your friends" - Every baby
I was a huge tomboy. Like, I had barbies, but only because my ninja turtles needed bitches.
Don`t forget to get offended today by some retarded sh!t that has absolutely no bearing on your life whatsoever.
whoever snuck the `s` in fast food is a clever person
I’m going to the gym because I heard they have free weights. I wonder how many they’ll let me take?
If I procrastinated any harder right now, it would have to involve time travel.
Rob Stalker for congressman........Stalker....a name you can trust.
If we’re not supposed to eat late, then why is there a light in the fridge?
I’m going back to sleep. I refuse to give up on my dreams that easily.
I drive safer when there`s food on my passenger seat than when there`s a person sitting there.
HR says I`m not allowed to scream "OH GOD IT BURNS MAKE IT STOP" when I walk through the front door at work anymore :(
Not everyone understands my laundry method. It`s simple. If it`s clean, it`s on the floor. If it`s dirty, it`s on the floor over there.
My pet rock turned 4,054,870,001 today