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Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.
Always give 100% at work: 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday.
It`s weird how after they couldn`t put Humpty Dumpty back together the King`s men were like "Let`s give the horses a shot at it"
People are so weird. You reach under the bathroom stall to tie their shoes and they freak out instead of saying thanks.
I`m not a father, but I have been called "daddy" a few times.
I’m pretty much always down for a snack.
We spend so much money on buying different clothes... without realizing the best moments are spent without clothes
I am a drinker ... Hear me pour
Help me Obi Won Bacardi, I`m sobering up.
Fitness nuts have to do an entire marathon to feel a runner`s high..... I just have to bend over and tie my shoes.
Sometimes I feel like people I know are just using me for my likes.
Well, today was a complete waste of clean clothes.
Probably the worst thing you can do to a person is leave them a voicemail.
I`m going to the gym now. Not bragging. Just want you to know where to send the ambulance.
I’m a fan of saying YOU’RE WELCOME really loudly when people don’t thank you.