Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The good thing about Facebook is if someone gets on your nerves enough, you can make them cease to exist in your world and you don`t even have to hide a body.
really vry funny
Keep talking; someday you’ll say something intelligent.
Often, when I am reading a good book I stop and thank my teacher. Well, I used to. Until she got that restraining order.
My ex warned me that I would never find a girl like her again....THANK GOD!
I saw a sign that said "watch for children" and I thought "that`s a fair trade."
I`m undecided about which pants to wear today...Smarty of Fancy?
This is the only comment you should be leaving on porn sites: “Why are you doing this? Please come home. Your mother and I are heartbroken.”
When asked `What would you bring with you to a deserted island`, how come no one ever replies, `A boat.`?
Well h€ll, I was going to post a status about my p€cker, but it was too long.
Currently under the influence of cold and flu medicine...my actions can not be held against me!
There should be an "oh my god, shut up already" button.
Divorce... The most common home improvement project.
People who say you can´t buy happiness just don´t know where to shop.
"I can`t wait to have you inside me," I whispered softly to my dinner.