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A recent survey revealed that 4 out of 5 women think I`m an a-hole...
Nipples: Nature`s thermometer.
"Why yes, I`d love to be a thousand pounds." – my brain when I see a box of donuts
* feels winds of change * realizes it`s just a hole in my shorts
Are you guys sure common sense can`t be beaten into people ? Because I`d like to give it try!
The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase Regards again.
Whenever i see a facebook page Celebrate; "We have reached 200K fans". I just ask myself, do they know how many of those 200K died or left facebook or can`t remember their password after they liked the page?
When are they going to drug test the audience of "The Price Is Right."? No one is that happy
Parts of my body are turning 50 Shades of Gray
Hey rumor has it, that if you look up from your phone you can see all kinds of pretty colors in the trees this time of year.
How long are Winnie the Pooh and Tigger going to ignore the fact there`s something seriously wrong with Eeyore
Just when you think someone couldn`t be any more annoying I test your theory.
Birth control pills should really be made for men. It makes more sense to unload a gun than to shoot a bulletproof vest.
I hate when I`m admiring my good looks from a car`s window reflection and the people inside think I`m staring at them.
Ever wonder if we`re just a reality TV show for a more intelligent species?