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Ever since I heard that women have one breast bigger than the other, it`s given me another reason to stare.
This woman is so impressed at my driving that she got next to me just to show me she’s not wearing a ring. Thanks hun, but wrong finger!
Why periods? Why can`t Mother Nature just text me and be like, "Whaddup Girl?, You ain`t pregnant. Have a great week. Talk to ya next month."
I keep myself in good enough shape to outrun most women and children during emergencies.
I am dealing with it like an adult! Tonight I`m getting drunk!!!
I`m not lazy, I`m in energy saving mode.
Why do they write PIZZA all over the box? What else could possibly be in there???
Ladies: Sometimes you just need to throw your arms up in the air and say, "Tie me up"
1, 2 Freddie´s coming for u 3, 4 better lock the door 5, 6 grab your crucifix 7, 8 gotta say up late 9, 10 never sleep again
Arguing over a girl`s bust size is like choosing between Molson, Heineken, Coors or Budweiser -- Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.
Have you ever ate something so good that you do a little happy dance while your eating it?
With names like "Batman" and "Robin", you`d think they could fly...
Don`t you wish common sense would make a big comeback.
What did the crop say to the farmer? Stop picking on me
Friends that are with you during your darkest times probably didn’t pay their electric bill either.