Daily Silly Status

There would be fewer problems with children if they had to chop wood to keep the television set going.

I plan on getting "sidewalk nap" drunk tonight.

I wonder if more children were conceived because of alcohol or more alcohol was consumed because of children.

My need for caffeine is so bad I`m going to AA for the free coffee

If I cover my phone at work with Preparation H, would it filter out the `pains in the butts` from calling?

I used to like my neighbours, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi

I`m surprised more killers haven`t lured their victims into their houses by blind folding them and promises of being on a febreze commercial

I love how in movies when someone types a really embarrassing secret they always accidentally send it to the whole school, and they also coincidentally have the phone number of everyone.

OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect already.

Commence six months of the clock in my car being wrong.

It`s amazing how important someone can make you feel with a smile, a kind word or the occasional stalking.

How to meet a girl: 1) Walk into a bar. 2) Shout “Heroes in a half shell.” 3) When a girl yells back “Turtle Power,” marry her.

Never make the same mistake twice, There are so many new ones, Try a different one each day.

I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?