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United States is where moms get a day and shark get a whole week.
It`s pretty cool how vodka always has such `great` ideas.
Alcohol doesn´t solve any problems ... but then again, neither does milk.
good boys go to heaven bad boys go every where
Women have all the answers, to all of your questions, and you don`t even have to ask.
Bless me Father for I hit send.
You can tell a lot about someone by whether they read HP as horsepower or hit points.
When I`m happy, I drink and when I drink, I`m happy. Win/Win!!
My doctor wrote me a prescription for dailysex but my girlfriend insists it says dyslexia.
Why doesn`t, "I have a headache!" work for when I don`t want to mow the yard?
why were you in my dreams again? i`m starting to think you`re stalking me.
Wait,,,, What does it mean when my bride uses air quotes during the vows???
Not to brag, but my bathroom floor is so clean I can sleep on it. Apparently.
If you`re not the lead dog, the scenery never changes!
Things ain`t nobody got time for: That