Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Didja ever get to know someone so well, that you wish you didn`t know them at all????
I think ugly people have children just to prove to everyone they had sex.
I fail to understand the ‘good’ part of ‘good morning’
"Wow, that Hungry Man TV dinner sure lives up to its name!" said no hungry man ever.
I have to hand it to people who lead a double life ... I can barely handle the one I have.
Rock bottom is when you get dinner at the same place you buy your gas.
I use a blender to make protein shakes in my office every day. That way when I use it to mix up a pitcher of margaritas no one even notices.
Mary Had a Little Lamb, Little Lamb, Little Lamb. Maybe she wasn`t that hungry.
Underachieving Sunday through Wednesday, overachieving Thursday through Saturday.
Anyone else find it odd that on Star Trek, when they "boldly go where no one has gone before" they always end up meeting someone?
take it easy and if it is easy take it home
Space heaters are the perfect housewarming gifts.
Our swear jar is always empty because of all the god damn foul mouthed thieves that live in this f*cking house.
"I trust my boyfriend, I would never go thru his phone" -girls who can`t figure out boyfriend`s passwords
I´m up way too early for someone who wasn´t planning on seizing the day.