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I am the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Do I have to wake up? I just woke up yesterday.
Met a girl for a first date and quickly found out that her version of "Do you want to go downtown?" is vastly different than mine.
That`s not chapstick in my front pocket.
If you want a successful relationship, find someone who likes the same thermostat setting that you do.
If u think I talk to much, just let me know. We can talk about it!
LADIES: Not all men get into a relationship just for sex. Some just need a personal chef.
If you ever get caught sleeping during work, just slowly raise your hand and say "In Jesus name I pray, Amen."
My New Years resolution is to stop procrastinating so much.
Been coughing all night & day, can`t seem to stop. Guess I should go see a movie.
Don`t kiss behind the garden . Love is blind but the neighbors are not :P
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is that you`re stupid and make bad decisions.
At least a stalker is there for you.
Hand sanitizer: the cut finder.
I think my iPhone is broken. I pressed the home button and Iām still at work.