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If you tell someone your Birthday and they automatically know your astrological sign, run as fast as you can away from them.
Boy it`s nice out today... or at least that`s what it says on my computer.
I`m a wealth of knowledge ... Unless you want it to be true, then I`m pretty solid on about 6 topics ... 2 of those might just be Doritos flavors
Just saw the trailer for "Noah." I hear The Book is better.
I hate waiting in lines. I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.
Seven years ago today I swallowed bubblegum ... I`ll keep you all posted.
The recommended age to have a Ouija Board is 8+ years old. So, you need to be 21 years old to drink alcohol and 8 to summon the devil.
why would anyone want a baby? It`s just another thing you have to clean
If someone found a legit way to make penises bigger, no one would believe them.
When I said I like it rough I was talking about the sex, not the whole entire relationship...
*calling pizza place* "Hello?" Your pizza tastes like cardboard "Are you sure you`re not eating the box again?" *long pause* *click*
My Wife does this cute thing where she says that "actions speak louder than words" and then gets pissed at me for just nodding.
Never argue with someone who knows fancier words than you. Like `responsibility`
If you feel lonely... dim all lights & put on a horror-movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore
Another year has passed. I`ve just about given up on the Mayans.