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Who do Walmart shoppers make fun of?
HA! If you think I`M crazy you should meet ME!
Only in math problems you can buy 60 watermelons and nobody asks what the hell is wrong with you.
I miss being the age when I thought I would have my sh!t together by the age I am now.
Always wonder why do people even bother making good quality pinatas?
I`m pretty sure my laundry breeds while I sleep.
whoever said that there are no stupid questions was stupid
I never give money to bums because a.) They probably make more money than I do. b.) They work from home. c.) They get to drink on the job.
I hate when people say, "I gotta get my body right for the summer." ...like, wtf are you going to do about your face???
What idiot called it the toaster and not the tanning bread?
I love sleep because its like a time machine to breakfast.
An egg salad is really just a chicken salad that is really underdone.
I love facebook because it helps me remember what I did the night before when I blacked out.
I trust Snapple facts more than CNN and Fox News.
Don`t EVER break a pinky promise. That sh!t is LEGIT.