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I hope Mexico doesn`t raise the cost of Tequila to pay for this wall.
My eye problems starts on Mondays and ends on Friday evening. I see clearer after the fourth bottle.
It’s embarrassing that 90% of my Google history is just words I wasn’t sure how to spell, and yes I googled embarrassing.
Hard butter is the devil.
I flunked anger management class.
I should probably be in a relationship just for the supervision.
Give a fish some bread and he`ll eat for a day. Teach a fish to be a flying piranha and he`ll eat for a lifetime.
No PornHub, I would NOT like to share this video with my friends and family on Facebook.
It`s tax season. Anyone have some spare kids?
I`d like to apologize for getting drunk and making an ass of myself at your Christmas party next week...
Men are great listeners when you have big boobs ;)
Never hire a color blind Bomb Technician.
Spring cleaning: The term that gives us an excuse to only clean once a year.
I always drink responsibility I make sure that someone is responsible for buying me drinks.
I don`t get my neighbor. tells me to make my self at home but then gets pissed off when they come into the kitchen and I`m in my underwear making a sandwich.