Daily Silly Status

I love long legs.... Long sexy legs..... But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.

Restaurant Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbour’s wife; And beer as COLD as your own. :)

Whenever someone tries to get too friendly with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to remind them of where we stand.

I`ve been building my own particle accelerator. Plan to create a boson particle. Explore the mysteries.....you know what? This is a lot of work. Think I`m just going to have a beer and play Call of Duty.

When I come home 4 the holidays I throw $40 on the table & say "Look we`re keeping the thermostat at 75, and we`re turning on some lights."

I got a letter from my crush on Valentine`s Day. Well, technically it`s a restraining order but still....

I don’t need a reason to enjoy a little wine. All I need is a glass.

Today please just pretend I wrote something hilarious, click like, and move on down the news feed.

I`ve started an elimination diet, It`s where I eliminate anyone from my life who talks about their diet.

I was in a bar when a girl called me a cheapskate. So I threw her drink in her face.

Hangman was my favorite childhood learning game that promoted hanging someone for a wrong answer.

I`m so in Debt, I could start a Government.

Be nice to me ... I may be hot one day.

Someone has got to come up with a polite way to ask a fat girl if she`s pregnant.

For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.