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I’ve probably wasted a solid year of my life just staring into the fridge.
All I`m saying is that the cheese grater wouldn`t have 4 sides if they wanted you to wash it after every use.
Just because it`s a bad idea, doesn`t mean it`s not going to be a good time.
Just been informed that my spirit animal is Eeyore.
Home is where the bag filled with plastic bags filled with plastic bags filled with plastic bags is.
I can take care of my drunk friends, so the responsibility of having children doesn`t worry me.
I just saw a man salute the Budweiser truck on the highway. LMAO
Any amusement you may have experienced from my past posts are in no way a guarantee of future performance.... Please initial here and sign here.
If “dress for the job you want” were true, there would be a lot more people wearing capes.
I`m thinking about starting a vegetarian dance club... I`m going to call it "lettuce turnip the beets". What do you think?
Still haven`t cashed in my winning megamillions ticket...scared the $6 will make my friends treat me different.
In my will, I´m giving $50 to anyone who wears a Scream costume to my funeral and doesn´t say a word.
Relatives comin` ~ hide all awesome stuff!
Everyone is beautiful in their own way, your way just happens to be in the dark.
And Jesus said, those footprints on the beach where two sets become one, that`s where I unfollowed you.