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If you think this status is funny someone you hate will step on a lego.
I suffer from paranoid-schizophrenic indifference. I really don`t care what the voices in my head are saying behind my back.
Is a rivalry between two vegetarians still called a beef?
Why do medications always have side effects like `anal leakage` & `suicidal thoughts`? Why not `invisibility` or `spontaneous orgasms`?
Mom: How are your grades this semester? Me:.... Mom:.... Me: Mother what`s important is that we have our health
hmm ... I wonder what I´m thinking?
I`m getting older but I still have my moments...though I don`t always remember where I put them
If women ruled the world, There would be no wars. just a bunch of counties not talking to each other!
When you were little, “I’m going to tell your mom” was the scariest sentence ever.
My favorite thing about decorative towels is how you`re not allowed to use them. Because nothing says class like useless towels.
Story of my life : 1. i wake up .... 2. i go to school.... 3. i see a girl .... 4. i run to her and kiss her.... Actually, the right order is 2,3,4,1 ..
Decided to cut back on my beer drinking. Fortunately, this martini is helping me through this tough time.
Whenever I drive past the psychic’s empty parking lot, I think, if I was psychic I would only be open on the days I knew people were coming.
Better late than pregnant.
I can’t remember ever being told I’m a bad listener