Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I learned how to kiss passionately by practicing on my hand, but now it just uses me for sex.
The realization you`ve spoken too loudly when you exclaimed: " My Salad had NUTS!"
Now it`s too hot to take down the outdoor Christmas lights.
went to see the conjuring, and now there`s 10 crosses, four bibles, and a poster of Chuck Norris in my room.
Good morning to some...Hello to others...And f*uck you to the rest!!
Guys are at their mathematical best when a girl says she is pregnant. Agree or nah??
Call me crazy, but the last person who did is still in a full body cast, so it`s up to you.
I hate it when someone starts to tell me something, then says "Never Mind".
I`ve always wondered why they don`t have a pregnant Barbie doll? Turns out Ken comes in a different box...
Some old people are driving vehicles right now and don’t even know it.
Telling people your phone is gonna die, But you really just don’t want to text them.
If a group of midgets performed the YMCA song, it is to be considered that they did it in lowercase?
I have company coming, does a spork go on the right or left side?
You know what’s funny? Lots of sh!t so lighten the f*ck up.
People think I`m a hugger, but I`m actually shaking them down for snacks.