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I tend to say “I don’t know” when I’m too lazy to think.
You can test my patience all you want, but I’m never going to pass.
When my husband gives me shit for taking too long to get ready, I remind him that you never know when you`ll meet the man of your dreams.
I try and avoid picking up turtles on the side of the road. Just in case they`re in the middle of a race.
With all the technology these days, you`d think they would come up with an Online Gym where losing weight would be a click away
The hardest part of having multiple kids is explaining why only your first child has a baby book.
I walked into SeaWorld with a fishing pole once. I gotta tell ya, those security guards can really run.
Found out today you cannot join a gym "just to watch".
I will give you unconditional love as soon as you meet my list of demands.
I hate when I oversleep at work and get home late.
I like to jump onto people`s backs as an unexpected piggy back. but sometimes I get carried away
A three hour long movie adaptation of pages 74 and 75 of the Hobbit? Friggin count me in.
What flickering lights mean: 1% electrical problem 99% demons.
To calculate the average number of times a guy has sex per week, multiply the number of fantasy football leagues he`s in by the number zero.
So I wanted to publicly apologize for not doing the ice bucket challenge for everyone that nominated me. I don`t give money to charity, unless she is on stage B at 11:30.