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Collecting my thoughts… I almost have a whole set! ;)
I made a p@nis out of Legos. A literal c*ck block.
I’ve been a sucker for boobies since the day I was born.
Its all fun and games..until you get stuck on a level of candy crush!!!
I give myself the best presents.
if money grew of trees, girls would be dating monkeys
When it comes to tantrums, I throw like a girl.
justin bieber
Facebook needs a "settle down" button.. You tap on a friend`s profile, that locks them out for a day so they can work through stuff privately..
According to Pinterest, I`m severely under-utilizing mason jars.
Weird how old people suddenly stop being so deaf the second you put music they don’t like on
That moment when you have so many things to do...So you decide to take a nap instead!
Keep the dream alive, hit the snooze button.
My wife looks super hot without glasses. That’s why I stopped wearing them.
I didn`t come here to make friends. I go to the cat shelter for that.