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There is a huge difference between a hot girl and a girl wearing lesser clothes.
One of my biggest fear is being chased by Usain Bolt during zombie apocalypse.
Drunk is when you feel sophisticated but can’t pronounce it.
If thought bubbles appeared above my head, I`d be screwed.
why does a round pizza comes in a square box?
Note to self: don’t set your password reminder as “you should know this”
Ladies: Sometimes you just need to throw your arms up in the air and say, "Tie me up"
If the cigarette tax is meant to discourage smoking, is the income tax meant to discourage working?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought, "Yep, you have a person in your basement."?
Finally, my winter fat is gone, now all I have are spring rolls.
I can`t help but feel insulted when that voice on the speaker calls me a Walmart shopper.
Today has been cancelled, due to lack of interest.
Don`t you wish common sense would make a big comeback.
I don’t understand why drunk me always seems to have more money than sober me.
You have to PAY for a speeding ticket?! I thought it was a reward for beating other drivers..