Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes all you need is $100,000
lol <- looks like a stick man drowning. lol
I am trying my very best to get into the holiday spirit but I cant open the damn bottle.
Men are like dogs. We’re excited to see you and have no clue what you’re mad about.
I put "extremely organized" on my resume and I don`t even remember what folder I saved it in..
My doctor said he`s been practicing for 30 years. When will he start doing his job for real?
I don`t have friends, I have acquaintances and parasites.
Whenever I hear the phrase `anything is possible`, I giggle and think about someone trying to slam a revolving door :)
On a scale of one to crazy, how many cats do you have?
I have an inferiority complex about my superiority complex. I know I`m better than you, but I feel really bad about it.
Those who tell you not to run with scissors are just trying to steal your scissors. Run.
I`ve said it before and I`ll say it again: it before
Picking up someone at a bar when you`re drunk, is like going to the grocery store hungry... You end up taking home crap you didn`t want
If you never jumped from sofa to sofa as a kid to avoid the lava, then you missed out on childhood.
I entered what I ate for lunch into my calorie counting app and it uninstalled itself.