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Coffee...Meet your Maker!
Could you guys just scroll a little? I was really funny yesterday.
Next time a guy asks for your number, write it down in Roman numerals. If he manages to call you, he`s a keeper.
Helpful Tip : Never ask the cop to hold your beer while you dig out your drivers license.
Let me be honest, I dont even walk a mile in my own shoes.
Takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do ...
Thanks to the popularity of gifs, we are living in the golden age of silent films.
Why am I always right but people still ignore me...?
I`m old enough to remember when apparently the worst thing life could hand you was lemons.
Help keep America beautiful. Stay in your house today.
Like a good neighbor, strip clubs are there
Accidentally ran over my neighborβs cat today and I was scared to tell him to his face so I left a note saying βCuriosity was hereβ
I used to question how much information was too much information. Joined Facebook, It`s much clearer now
This is my leftover status from Thanksgiving.
If my week was a YouTube video, Monday would be that crappy ad that it doesn`t let you skip.