Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You really understand how drunk you are when you`re peeing...
The day I can get a correct order at a fast food establishment is the day I will support an increase in minimum wage.
I`m not crazy I`m just special! No wait maybe I am crazy.. One second, I have to talk to myself about this hold on...
For Lent I`ve decided to give up my New Year`s Resolutions
Just convinced my Mom she won`t get Wolf of Wall Street if she doesn`t see Teen Wolf first.
Alcohol-The best night time: slurring, headache, dehydration, drink spilling, charm killing, so you think you can dance medicine.
Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
Awkward moment when you just wanted a sugar daddy but becomes the First Lady of America!
When I see something funny on the internet, I don’t usually laugh. I just blow more air out of my nose than usual.
Roses are red, so is my wine. Refill my glass and I`ll be just fine.
When I think of a good status in the shower, I run out dripping & naked and post it before the internet ends and it’s too late.
I`ve finally decided to do something about my weight. Lie.
"Hey bro shotgun this beer" No I don`t drink "You wanna be cool don`t you?" I don`t drink "C`mon NERD!" Grandma PLEASE stop
awesome collection!
Cactuses are just heavily armed cucumbers.